A Time of Uncertainty
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Title
A Time of Uncertainty
Creator
Anonymous
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It has been a month. A month since Wisconsin was put on shutdown and citizens lives would begin to change. A month of living in a movie. Not a comedy or a romance movie. A horror movie. The villain? COVID-19.
I went on a cruise in the beginning of January when the United States publicly started discussing the issue that was happening in China. When I heard this, I blew it off. How could a virus all the way from China enter the United States? After enjoying such a nice vacation, I came home to panic and uncertainty about cases coming into the United States. I have never been more scared for my life before. No one knew what to do and how to contain it. Not even the highest health and government officials. March 16th was my last day of work as I was told the next day the store that I worked at would be closed. I now had to worry about how to make my car payments or if I should just turn in my car because I would not be using it to go anywhere. But how long would it be it be until I would need a car again? Everything shut down on March 17th except for essential businesses such as grocery stores and banks. March 17th is when the whole city felt like it just stopped. As if the world stopped spinning and everything was at a halt. This was supposed to be a celebration of Saint Patrick's Day with parades and people gathering out at the bars. However, this was just the beginning of the shutdown.
The United States called this shutdown, a “Safer At Home” order. This means that citizens are only to go out if they need essential items or go to work. After learning a little more about how the virus spreads, they then added that if you were to go out, to be 6 feet apart and advised to wear masks. I decided to stay with my grandparents throughout the Safer At Home order. I now no longer could go back to my house where my mom was. I could only see her through the glass of the front door and hope that she could hear me. I no longer could be with my boyfriend or with my friends. All this uncertainty really effected my mental health. I did not know what to do anymore. Anxiety and panic attacks started to become a daily thing for me. My anxiety was taking over my body and started making me sick. I needed to change so I could become the healthy person that I was before Safer at Home.
An anxiety attack is when "anxiety is what we experience when we are worrying about some future event – anticipating a bad outcome that might happen” according to Ricks Warren who has a Ph.D. and professor at the University of Michigan. A panic attack is slightly different than an anxiety attack. “It’s associated with a very abrupt onset of intense fear because of a sense of threat happening right now,” says Warren. Every day for about a week and a half, I would experience one or both in a day. I would get an anxiety attack when thinking about school or when I would be able to go out again with my friends. Other times, I would get a panic attack because I wanted to be with my mom, boyfriend and friends at that time and I wasn’t able to be with them. I wasn’t allowed to see my boyfriend or friends from even 6 feet apart which was something that I was seeing on social media of my other friends being allowed to see friends and boyfriends. However, I began to find new hobbies to help me cope with my emotions and make time go by faster while being home all the time. While still be quarantined to this day, I have found these hobbies to be useful and keep me healthy, both emotionally and physically.
My body was shaken up and very tense after all the emotions that I had experienced so I started to do yoga and relaxation videos that I found on YouTube. This really helped my body calm down and helped my heart rate slow down. After lying in bed for so many days, I also found workout videos to help me get into shape and help get my mind off things. I have found that Chloe Ting’s workout videos on YouTube have been very beneficial for me. Recently, I found that I enjoy painting and have been painting pictures for my friends and family. I now have the time to make recipes that I never had time to make. A lot of my time is spent doing homework but I often take breaks so I can do these activities.
Today is April 19th and I continue to do these activities so I can keep busy. I have not had a panic or anxiety attack in two weeks. While there is still so much uncertainty, COVID 19 cannot stop me from living my best life, no matter what the future brings. If there is any takeaway from my personal experience, it is to never stop living your life when times are tough and to always look at the positive.
I went on a cruise in the beginning of January when the United States publicly started discussing the issue that was happening in China. When I heard this, I blew it off. How could a virus all the way from China enter the United States? After enjoying such a nice vacation, I came home to panic and uncertainty about cases coming into the United States. I have never been more scared for my life before. No one knew what to do and how to contain it. Not even the highest health and government officials. March 16th was my last day of work as I was told the next day the store that I worked at would be closed. I now had to worry about how to make my car payments or if I should just turn in my car because I would not be using it to go anywhere. But how long would it be it be until I would need a car again? Everything shut down on March 17th except for essential businesses such as grocery stores and banks. March 17th is when the whole city felt like it just stopped. As if the world stopped spinning and everything was at a halt. This was supposed to be a celebration of Saint Patrick's Day with parades and people gathering out at the bars. However, this was just the beginning of the shutdown.
The United States called this shutdown, a “Safer At Home” order. This means that citizens are only to go out if they need essential items or go to work. After learning a little more about how the virus spreads, they then added that if you were to go out, to be 6 feet apart and advised to wear masks. I decided to stay with my grandparents throughout the Safer At Home order. I now no longer could go back to my house where my mom was. I could only see her through the glass of the front door and hope that she could hear me. I no longer could be with my boyfriend or with my friends. All this uncertainty really effected my mental health. I did not know what to do anymore. Anxiety and panic attacks started to become a daily thing for me. My anxiety was taking over my body and started making me sick. I needed to change so I could become the healthy person that I was before Safer at Home.
An anxiety attack is when "anxiety is what we experience when we are worrying about some future event – anticipating a bad outcome that might happen” according to Ricks Warren who has a Ph.D. and professor at the University of Michigan. A panic attack is slightly different than an anxiety attack. “It’s associated with a very abrupt onset of intense fear because of a sense of threat happening right now,” says Warren. Every day for about a week and a half, I would experience one or both in a day. I would get an anxiety attack when thinking about school or when I would be able to go out again with my friends. Other times, I would get a panic attack because I wanted to be with my mom, boyfriend and friends at that time and I wasn’t able to be with them. I wasn’t allowed to see my boyfriend or friends from even 6 feet apart which was something that I was seeing on social media of my other friends being allowed to see friends and boyfriends. However, I began to find new hobbies to help me cope with my emotions and make time go by faster while being home all the time. While still be quarantined to this day, I have found these hobbies to be useful and keep me healthy, both emotionally and physically.
My body was shaken up and very tense after all the emotions that I had experienced so I started to do yoga and relaxation videos that I found on YouTube. This really helped my body calm down and helped my heart rate slow down. After lying in bed for so many days, I also found workout videos to help me get into shape and help get my mind off things. I have found that Chloe Ting’s workout videos on YouTube have been very beneficial for me. Recently, I found that I enjoy painting and have been painting pictures for my friends and family. I now have the time to make recipes that I never had time to make. A lot of my time is spent doing homework but I often take breaks so I can do these activities.
Today is April 19th and I continue to do these activities so I can keep busy. I have not had a panic or anxiety attack in two weeks. While there is still so much uncertainty, COVID 19 cannot stop me from living my best life, no matter what the future brings. If there is any takeaway from my personal experience, it is to never stop living your life when times are tough and to always look at the positive.
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Reference
Anonymous, A Time of Uncertainty