My Essential Workers Field Guide
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Title
My Essential Workers Field Guide
Creator
Nancy
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There are constant reminders of how we should practice social distancing, and stay safe at home; everyone agrees this is a good idea. There are multiple websites and newscasts filled with ways you can keep yourself from getting bored and entertain your children, and plenty of hints on working from home; how to keep your focus and be productive.
But where, I ask, where, are the hints and tips for those of us who are "Essential"; who venture out into the workplace and can't social distance? Here is a snarky attempt to offer a guide for us Essentials who work in the niche area of Health Care Food Service, a good way for me to release frustration and you to pass a little time.
Nancy’s Essential Workers Daily Field Guide
Take your temp in the morning with the instant read digital food thermometer you usually use for cooking. You’ll need to read it backwards in the mirror because of the angle; careful it's pointy! But you’ve tested it against boiling water and it’s accurate. The human thermometer you’ve ordered from Amazon will ship lickety-split in about 65 days. Maybe. Another day with no fever! Yahoo, good to go. When you leave the house, put on a pair of those stretchy mittens they sell for a dollar that you bought for fall and early winter. These will be a barrier for all those handles you'll touch on the way in. Place a bandana in a Ziploc, carry it with you. Double check--yep, the paper you were given and told to keep with you stating you are an essential worker is in the car. As you drive in and you see the sign above the freeway saying "STAY SAFE, STAY HOME" give it a middle finger salute, you'll feel better.
In the parking structure, park as close to the ground floor as possible so you can walk outside, avoiding halls and evaluators. Each floor in the structure is equal to 2 flights, easy going down but it can be challenge going up. If you must take an elevator with others cough lightly into your elbow before getting on, then board and face the corner. You’ll be given a wide berth.
When you enter the building go straight for the hand sanitizer and rub it into your gloves, ignoring the stares. You are now wearing makeshift sanitizing wipes. Open the Ziploc and dampen you bandana as well.
As you travel the halls and approach people, stay as far away as possible. Pace your breathing, so you are exhaling or holding your breath within 6 feet of them. as you get closer hold your bandanna over your face, even sticking your fingers in your nose. It won’t prevent the virus, but people will back away from you. You may be an Essential but cloth masks aren’t an option; they are saving them for the front line providers who already have to reuse them.
When you reach your work space, hope your area hasn’t run out of surface sanitizing wipes yet. Sanitize anything your coworkers may have touched. Conserve the damp wipe by folding it over and placing it under your keyboard, it can be reused many times, often all day. Ignore the fleeting thought that all this sanitizer will create an even worse super bug; you are Essential, live in the moment! Put your damp gloves in the Ziploc and the bandana in your pocket. Go about your day. Whatever you do don't count the number of folks you are within 6 feet of; this could send you into full blown panic. Use your bandana for hall walking. Thank goodness there are hand washing sinks everywhere in your department, and every time you leave your space to go into the kitchen or return from somewhere else wash up, although you are getting pretty chapped. Do you habitually touch your face? Go the prep cooks and get the end of an onion to keep on your desk. Rub it on your fingers during the day, the smell will remind you not to touch. Consider ordering some of that strongly fragrant body spray young men wear for this purpose, an item that will most likely ship in 2 days from Amazon, not 65 days like your thermometer.
During this time of stress its best to stay un-hydrated and drink as little as possible during the work day. Although this is the opposite of any sound medical advice it limits your trips into the public washrooms. The copious amount of water you drink in the evening will help you get up often during the night, so you can obsessively take your temp and compulsively check updates on COVID-19 confirmed cases!
You will be working with many non-essential people, which I call NonEs. NonEs will be phoning and emailing, telling you it’s a good time to catch up on projects that have been on the back burner, and asking you for unrealistic deadlines. They will lament that it’s difficult to deal with setting up their provided home laptops and IS service has long wait times; NonEs will end every conversation with “stay safe.” Some may helpfully remind you to wash your hands. Be patient, they mean well.
On the way out stop and dampen your gloves and the bandana before putting it back in the Ziploc. When you get home leave your shoes by the door, remove your sanitizer bandana from the plastic bag, wipe down your coat front and sleeves, and hang it in the hall.
Take off your clothes, and put your clothing in a plastic garbage bag. This is what’s recommended for Essentials: only wear your work clothing one time and shower right away; may as well not second guess, though it’s probably easier for those who wear scrubs or uniforms. As for the coat- just seems to make sense and you have the time anyway. For goodness sake stop dressing in layers; wear the worst stuff you can get away with and still remain business casual.
Use a hand towel to dry yourself after you shower. Some fastidious people may use a towel after they shower just once, it’s not my regular habit. Now it is, so a hand towel will suffice, and in it goes with the clothes, and you can close up the bag. Put on your inside clothes, rinse out your gloves and bandana, leave them in the sink while wash your hands again, and make some tea. Now pour that extra boiling water on them and hang them to dry for tomorrow.
Congratulations! You’ve done everything you can. Try to relax, trust God and Karma, and remind yourself that every day is a gift.
But where, I ask, where, are the hints and tips for those of us who are "Essential"; who venture out into the workplace and can't social distance? Here is a snarky attempt to offer a guide for us Essentials who work in the niche area of Health Care Food Service, a good way for me to release frustration and you to pass a little time.
Nancy’s Essential Workers Daily Field Guide
Take your temp in the morning with the instant read digital food thermometer you usually use for cooking. You’ll need to read it backwards in the mirror because of the angle; careful it's pointy! But you’ve tested it against boiling water and it’s accurate. The human thermometer you’ve ordered from Amazon will ship lickety-split in about 65 days. Maybe. Another day with no fever! Yahoo, good to go. When you leave the house, put on a pair of those stretchy mittens they sell for a dollar that you bought for fall and early winter. These will be a barrier for all those handles you'll touch on the way in. Place a bandana in a Ziploc, carry it with you. Double check--yep, the paper you were given and told to keep with you stating you are an essential worker is in the car. As you drive in and you see the sign above the freeway saying "STAY SAFE, STAY HOME" give it a middle finger salute, you'll feel better.
In the parking structure, park as close to the ground floor as possible so you can walk outside, avoiding halls and evaluators. Each floor in the structure is equal to 2 flights, easy going down but it can be challenge going up. If you must take an elevator with others cough lightly into your elbow before getting on, then board and face the corner. You’ll be given a wide berth.
When you enter the building go straight for the hand sanitizer and rub it into your gloves, ignoring the stares. You are now wearing makeshift sanitizing wipes. Open the Ziploc and dampen you bandana as well.
As you travel the halls and approach people, stay as far away as possible. Pace your breathing, so you are exhaling or holding your breath within 6 feet of them. as you get closer hold your bandanna over your face, even sticking your fingers in your nose. It won’t prevent the virus, but people will back away from you. You may be an Essential but cloth masks aren’t an option; they are saving them for the front line providers who already have to reuse them.
When you reach your work space, hope your area hasn’t run out of surface sanitizing wipes yet. Sanitize anything your coworkers may have touched. Conserve the damp wipe by folding it over and placing it under your keyboard, it can be reused many times, often all day. Ignore the fleeting thought that all this sanitizer will create an even worse super bug; you are Essential, live in the moment! Put your damp gloves in the Ziploc and the bandana in your pocket. Go about your day. Whatever you do don't count the number of folks you are within 6 feet of; this could send you into full blown panic. Use your bandana for hall walking. Thank goodness there are hand washing sinks everywhere in your department, and every time you leave your space to go into the kitchen or return from somewhere else wash up, although you are getting pretty chapped. Do you habitually touch your face? Go the prep cooks and get the end of an onion to keep on your desk. Rub it on your fingers during the day, the smell will remind you not to touch. Consider ordering some of that strongly fragrant body spray young men wear for this purpose, an item that will most likely ship in 2 days from Amazon, not 65 days like your thermometer.
During this time of stress its best to stay un-hydrated and drink as little as possible during the work day. Although this is the opposite of any sound medical advice it limits your trips into the public washrooms. The copious amount of water you drink in the evening will help you get up often during the night, so you can obsessively take your temp and compulsively check updates on COVID-19 confirmed cases!
You will be working with many non-essential people, which I call NonEs. NonEs will be phoning and emailing, telling you it’s a good time to catch up on projects that have been on the back burner, and asking you for unrealistic deadlines. They will lament that it’s difficult to deal with setting up their provided home laptops and IS service has long wait times; NonEs will end every conversation with “stay safe.” Some may helpfully remind you to wash your hands. Be patient, they mean well.
On the way out stop and dampen your gloves and the bandana before putting it back in the Ziploc. When you get home leave your shoes by the door, remove your sanitizer bandana from the plastic bag, wipe down your coat front and sleeves, and hang it in the hall.
Take off your clothes, and put your clothing in a plastic garbage bag. This is what’s recommended for Essentials: only wear your work clothing one time and shower right away; may as well not second guess, though it’s probably easier for those who wear scrubs or uniforms. As for the coat- just seems to make sense and you have the time anyway. For goodness sake stop dressing in layers; wear the worst stuff you can get away with and still remain business casual.
Use a hand towel to dry yourself after you shower. Some fastidious people may use a towel after they shower just once, it’s not my regular habit. Now it is, so a hand towel will suffice, and in it goes with the clothes, and you can close up the bag. Put on your inside clothes, rinse out your gloves and bandana, leave them in the sink while wash your hands again, and make some tea. Now pour that extra boiling water on them and hang them to dry for tomorrow.
Congratulations! You’ve done everything you can. Try to relax, trust God and Karma, and remind yourself that every day is a gift.
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Reference
Nancy, My Essential Workers Field Guide